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My Story About Life

February 24, 2012

This is not a post I ever intended to write. I am not extremely political, or controversial, or argumentative. I don’t like to debate. I don’t like to argue. I don’t like conflict. I’m not the most educated, the most professional, the smartest, the most tactful, or the best-spoken. I don’t claim to have all the answers; I don’t know all the facts and figures; I don’t know the journey that everybody else has been on.

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But this is my story.

I have a life.

I’ve carried life.

I’ve given birth to life.

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It’s a heated time in our country. There are opposing opinions regarding every issue. Many people choose to voice their beliefs on sites such as Facebook—a very valid place since it is a “social” media site. I am choosing to express my words, my story, my opinion on this site, my blog.

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I am pro life. I value life—all life. Young, old, male, female, physically challenged, non-physically challenged, mentally incompetent, mentally competent, ignorant, genius. Life is valuable. I am for it, because God is for it. God created all of life. He thinks life “is good.”

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  • “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” (Genesis 1:1)
  • “So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living and moving thing with which the water teems, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good.” (Genesis 1:21)
  • “God made the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good.” (Genesis 1:25)
  • “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” (Genesis 1:27)
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We are all here because of God. Genesis is the story of mankind.

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Here is my story.

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When my husband and I decided to have children, it took us over two years to conceive. It was a long, heart-breaking two years. I yearned to have a baby; I knew I wanted to be a mom over anything else. Finally, one month I was “late.” I waited a few days to be sure; I didn’t want to read another “not pregnant” on another stick from one of the dozens of pregnancy tests I had bought over the years. I couldn’t handle another disappointment. But this time—this time!—it read “pregnant.” I will never forget sitting on the toilet for half an hour weeping with joy. I felt completely blessed that I was able to conceive. After struggling for years, I knew the brokenness of other women not being able to do so. I felt so humbled and appreciative to be pregnant.

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When a woman misses her period, she is typically 2 weeks past conception—fertilization of the egg and the sperm. However, doctors consider the beginning of the pregnancy 2 weeks before that, at ovulation. So once I found out I was pregnant, I was 4 weeks pregnant.

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Barely a week later, at 5 weeks pregnant, I began to spot and bleed heavily. Panicked, I called the OB-GYN office immediately, even though I was not even a patient yet. The only exam they could do was an ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy since I was merely a week past missing my period.

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During the ultrasound, I heard the most incredible sound I had ever heard in my life: beep, beep, beep.

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The doctor began to say, “Well, the heartbeat … ”

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I interrupted: “The heartbeat? That’s the heartbeat? The baby has a heartbeat already?”

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The doctor smiled. “Yes, the baby has a heartbeat already. The heart begins to beat about 3 weeks after fertilization.”

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I knew that. I was an editor for a parenting magazine. I knew all the facts, figures, numbers—everything in the parenting books! But I had never experienced. I had never heard. I had never seen. I had never witnessed. I had never known.

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The doctor continued, “The baby does have a heartbeat; however, at almost 5 weeks, which you seem to be, the heartbeat should be over 100 beats per minute. Typically 105 to 120 beats. This baby’s heartbeat is only in the 80s. Unfortunately, this could mean that your body is in the process of miscarrying. At this point, there is nothing you can do or cannot do.”

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Complete joy turned to instant devastation. I couldn’t lose this baby. It took me two years to conceive this baby! Noooo!

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The doctor scheduled me to come back in a week to have another ultrasound to see whether I was still pregnant or had, indeed, miscarried. I thought two years were a long time. The next seven days were an eternity.

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I dreaded going back to the doctor; I just couldn’t bear hearing the words “I’m sorry, but … ”

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However, that was not to be my story. But it was the beginning of Mary-Allison’s story. The ultrasound proved that the baby’s heartbeat was a strong 125. Hallelujah! Our baby had a strong heartbeat during the entire pregnancy. A healthy, beautiful baby girl was born two days after Christmas in 2005: Mary-Allison Noel McGuire.

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A heartbeat. The very definition of life or death. Without a heartbeat, you are considered legally dead, no longer living. A heartbeat indicates life.

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A person has a heartbeat at three weeks after conception. Many times before a woman even realizes she’s pregnant, a heart beats.

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But it’s not a life until it’s born.

If a person whose heart stops is considered dead, isn’t the opposite true: A person whose heart begins is considered alive? A person whose heart doesn’t beat is dead. A person whose heart beats is alive.

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I don’t want anybody, including the government, to tell me what I can and can’t do with my body.

Nobody is telling a woman what to do with her body—she obviously already made those choices. However, the attempt is being made to save a life, a baby, a child, a person. All life is worthy of being valued, of being saved. All life—especially the innocent—deserves a voice. Society fights for those who are mentally challenged, who are innocent and without a voice. How is an unborn child whose heart beats any different? They, too, are innocent and without a voice.

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If a person is abused, raped, or even killed, society wants the government to step in then. How is that law not the same for all of life, for everyone whose heart beats?

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Why does America have laws that proclaim murder is illegal? Because our country was created by the Founding Fathers with the moral laws of God in mind: “You shall not murder” (Exodus 20:13). How is that law not the same for all of life?

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I have always been pro life, because I have always believed that God made us; I have always believed what His Word, the Bible, says. However, I’m not sure I would have truly known had I not visibly seen, on the ultrasound, the heartbeat at 5 weeks pregnant (3 weeks after conception). I’m not sure I would have fought for life had I not heard my baby’s heartbeat. I’m not sure I would be writing this post if I had not felt a baby alive inside of me.

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My desire is for all people to value all life. My desire is for women to receive an ultrasound to know—to see, to hear, to experience—that their babies have heartbeats at 22 days past conception.

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If you don’t agree with me, that’s okay (but thank you for reading this entire post). As I said at the beginning of this post, I’m not one to debate or argue. However, it saddens my heart when a baby is seen as a “choice” and when women decide to rid themselves of a pregnancy before they know it’s a baby with a heartbeat—a life.

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“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.” (Jeremiah 1:5)

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28 Comments leave one →
  1. Courtney permalink
    February 24, 2012 6:22 am

    Incredibly well written Christi, thank you for shaing.

  2. Sarah C. permalink
    February 24, 2012 7:49 am

    Well said, Christi!

  3. leeleegirl4 permalink
    February 24, 2012 7:55 am

    To say that this is a beautiful post does not bring it justice.

  4. Ashley Kerth permalink
    February 24, 2012 8:06 am

    Christi~ Amen, sister! I could not agree more. It saddens me that people consider this a “choice.” God doesn’t make mistakes. Thank you for this. It needed to be written.

    • February 26, 2012 7:26 pm

      It did–it’s been floating in my head for a couple weeks. I could finally get it typed out!

  5. Anonymous permalink
    February 24, 2012 8:25 am

    Thanks Christi!

  6. February 24, 2012 12:06 pm

    Beautifully said!

  7. Gabrielle permalink
    February 24, 2012 12:37 pm

    Awwww!!!! Christi this is amazing! I loooove the ending! 🙂

  8. February 24, 2012 1:58 pm

    I believe God has a reason and meaning for every life
    We will never know God’s reasoning for new life
    But I know God only works for our good and the good of His Beloved
    God Bless and thank you for your honesty

  9. February 24, 2012 3:08 pm

    Thank you for sharing your story, Christi.

  10. February 24, 2012 3:11 pm

    Christi,
    I lost my comment.
    Thank you for sharing your story with honesty and grace.

  11. February 24, 2012 5:41 pm

    In regards to all those things you claim you’re not… what I do know for sure is that you are a beautiful..talented …bold!! child of God!! And I for one am always so grateful for your shared wisdom and your amazing heart for “life” !! Thank you!

  12. February 28, 2012 12:15 am

    This is beautifully written Christi. It’s so brave to speak out publicly on such a “hot-button” issue, and I applaud your courage. A friend recently had a baby, and her dad posted as his Facebook status that day one of the most wonderfully written sentences on this very topic:

    “My granddaughter, my first, came into this world 8 months 20 days ago and we watched & celebrated her birth at 5:53 pm yesterday.”

    It brings tears to my eyes still!

    • March 1, 2012 10:04 am

      Wow, that quote is amazing and gives me goose bumps! He is so right–life starts at conception and even before. Jeremiah 1:5: “Before you were in the womb, I knew you.” Thank you so much, Katie, for reading and sharing!

  13. February 29, 2012 4:18 pm

    Beautiful. Thank you for sharing!

  14. Nikki :) permalink
    March 2, 2012 1:05 pm

    sorry this is late, but it means so much to hear your story. I don’t know why, but I never knew this about Mary-Allison. Praise God that He has been with you through it all! I love you girl!

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